"Hey you... Yeah, YOU! I know you're trying to balance your desire to feel sexy with your love of baked goods and fried foods. I know no matter how many crunches you do or boxing classes you take, you still have a soft, round stomach. You're 33 and staying tight gets harder as you age. I understand. REALLY. I UNDERSTAND. See my triangular, empire waist? It hides that little pooch. See that v-neck? Helloooo, sexy neck! And I know you have a great push-up bra and high heels at home that will make the volume on this dress go from business casual to va-va-voom. So do us both a favor and buy me?"
Of course, I had to do as I was told. You can get your own talking dress here.